Trusting God in the Pit: A $38,000 "Crime"

Yes, you read that right.

Me, a criminal, you ask? Not quite, but I was caught red-handed.

Caught in the middle of the street in the pouring rain, dead body to my left, bloodied knife in my hand. I stand there, eyes wide, mouth gaping, as the cop cars’ sirens swirl and their headlights reach my face. I am stunned, with evidence all over my hands.

Okay, okay, that’s not really how things went down, but it sure felt like it.

What really happened: a few short months into a new job, I spent $38,000 of a client’s money without realizing it. Their credit card was being charged for unapproved ad spend, blowing way past their monthly budget.

Next thing I knew, I was on a Zoom call with both of my brand-new bosses, the owners of the agency, being criticized for my neglect, carelessness, and outright lack of responsibility.

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Is this my life? They must have the wrong person. Was I set up? They don’t even know me.

Technically, managing budgets on my client accounts, ad spend included, was in my job description. But no one had ever shown me how, and I later found out no one else was doing it on their accounts either. So there I stood, red-handed. Wrong place, wrong time felt like an understatement.

Sitting in this place of despair, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. My pride reeled, rushing to build a defense. This isn’t me! I am the girl who has always been responsible. The designated mom of the group. The hardest worker in the office. The girl who made a personal budgeting tool for her final Excel project while her friends planned Jim and Pam’s wedding. The girl who never went into debt and paid cash for her car. If they only really knew me, they would know this was a misunderstanding. A simple mistake.

But no. I felt deeply criticized, so unseen and so misunderstood. I wanted to retaliate, to state my case and plead innocent!

I walk into my house church that Sunday and burst into tears the second my dear friend and mother figure, Vickie, asks me how I am doing. I explain my whole situation, breath shuddering, tears streaming down my face. So disappointed, so helpless, and so confused. How was I going to get out of this pit I was in?

And in a soft nudge, I feel Jesus reminding me of Joseph.

Joseph had done everything right. Sold by his own brothers, dropped in a foreign land with no family and no one to vouch for him, and he still showed up and worked hard. He served Potiphar so faithfully that Potiphar put him in charge of everything he owned. And when Potiphar’s wife tried to pull him into sin, he ran. He chose integrity when no one was watching.

And what did it get him? A lie. She held onto his cloak, told her version of the story, and just like that Joseph was thrown in prison. Completely innocent. No one stopping to ask, “Wait, is this really who he is?”

Sound familiar?!

Joseph was in the pit. Wrongly accused, misunderstood, and totally stuck. The most trustworthy guy in the house, and his reputation was gone overnight.

But here’s what got me: he didn’t spend his days defending himself or trying to claw his way out. Genesis 39 says the Lord was with him right there in the pit. God gave him favor with the prison warden, and before long Joseph was running the whole place. Not after the pit. In it.

And it wasn’t quick. Joseph sat in that prison for years. Years of waiting, with no guarantee of how or when it would turn around.

I felt the Lord saying to me: trust him. Trust him in the pit. Trust him with my reputation, and allow him to give me favor with my bosses.

So there I sat, trusting the Lord, praying every day for favor, praying every day for a way through.

So what happened next? Did I get fired? Did I get cleared? Stay tuned for part 2, where I tell you how the story ended.