Let Us Love (pt. 1): The Difference Between Being Loved and Being Liked

Do you equate love with approval? Did you know they aren't the same thing?

True love comes without the limitation of approval. Approval is man-made—human judgment. True love is being fully seen, known, and accepted by another, even if they do not approve of or agree with everything you do or believe. We often seek approval because it gives the immediate and positive facade of love. John 3:16 does not say, “For God so approved of the world that he gave his one and only Son.” No! Quite the contrary. He does not approve of our sinful desires, habits, or short-comings. But He does love us.

To be validated or accepted by humans is to play an earthly game—one in which “winning” is merely a fleeting gain of someone’s temporary acknowledgment that what you did was good or noteworthy in their eyes at that moment. This leaves you constantly chasing more validation every time the previous approval expires. It's a cyclical and fruitless pursuit.

When we grow to believe that love is captured in this way, we are only fooling ourselves into playing a game we can never win—one that never truly rewards us with what we’re longing for: true love and deep acceptance of our souls.

We want to be desired and pursued simply for being us—for the essence or core of who we are—not because of something we did to earn it. When people we desire to love us withhold their love, we can often interpret that as an opportunity to prove our worth and gain their approval, which we then wrongly interpret as love.

Instead, we need to release the outcomes of whether certain people love us into God's hands. We must know and believe that His love is not only enough, but that even if we manipulate ourselves or others just to gain their approval, it still isn’t love—and we will have lost ourselves in the process.

Choosing to let people not choose us, not love us, is one of the boldest declarations we can make: that we don’t need their approval. Why? Because we are rooted and grounded in Christ’s love, and therefore, grounded in ourselves too. We preserve our God-given identity, dignity, and trust—knowing that God is the provider of all our needs, including love.

Let’s become experts not in chasing love, but in letting others walk away if they don’t choose us. Because a lifetime of chasing people who will never love us is far more exhausting than it’s worth.

Stick around for the Part 2 Preview: "Jesus Didn’t Chase Approval—And We Don’t Need To Either"

In the next post, we’ll unpack how Jesus never chased approval or tried to sell Himself to be chosen—He simply invited people to follow Him, rooted in His identity and the Father’s love. This reflection explores what it means to stop striving for validation in relationships and instead pursue the freedom of being fully loved and freely chosen—just as Jesus modeled.