Don't Say Submit.

In my Bible study, we’re going through the book of Ephesians. We just got to the section about submission… oh, this one always gets me.

As I go through my study booklet, it asks:

1. Within marriage, what is a wife instructed to do? I hear the chorus of women say “submit” in deflated, monotone unison.

   
   

2. What is her model? How does this clarify what Paul does (and doesn’t) mean? Of course, the model is Christ and the Church—but I have no idea what Paul means.

I quickly flip to the back where the study notes are and begin to read:

“The Church submits to Christ gladly and voluntarily, even joyfully. We follow Christ’s lead because we understand that His rule is for our best; we know that He loves us sacrificially; we trust that He is guiding us wisely. So we respond with gladness and thankfulness. But the Church’s submission to Christ does not mean that Christians lose their personalities, or never think for themselves, or ask questions. And it does not mean that we always find it easy or natural to submit.”

I would have never put gladness and thankfulness in the same sentence as submit.

It’s striking, really.“How can you feel joy and gratitude in surrendering what you want?” I began to think.

I guess only if you’re confident that you’ll receive something better than what you want.

And that got me thinking. Submission sounds an awful lot like obedience. I wonder what the difference is?

Obedience is the act of following commands, while submission is the attitude of willingly yielding to another’s authority. It includes obedience but also involves respect and a proper mindset. Submission is a deeper, more comprehensive concept—it involves the heart and will, while obedience is the outward action.

You can obey out of fear, but submission requires love, trust, and a willing attitude, even when there’s a conflict with personal desires.

Turns out, I’m really good at obedience—and really awful at submission.

And that just further promotes my main idea:We cannot have joy if we’re letting seeds of doubt be sown—believing that God is holding out on us, that there’s something better He’s withholding.

Those thoughts tempt us to disobey, to run off and do our own thing—to find happiness on our own terms.

And I’ve prided myself on being so disciplined to not do those things. You will not find me running off to the next party or experience in search of something better. But what I am guilty of is dwelling there—in my heart and my mind.

I swear I’m Jonah’s long-lost sister. Just call me Joni.Yeah, I might go preach to the city of Nineveh after being swallowed by a whale, but my pride will land me right back on that beach, cursing God for sending a worm to eat the plant that was keeping me in the cool shade.

I way too often find these seeds being planted and then rooted in my mind—that though I will obey, I don’t have to like it. So I sulk.

I believe that God is refining me—that He’s pruning me, stripping me away, testing me. And I’ll endure like a good soldier in God’s army, believing success is how long I can stand this boot camp experience.

And though refinement and pruning are part of God’s sanctification and plan for our lives,

God desires us to have joy in submission—to have gratitude. To realize that my life is so much better choosing His way over mine.

Submission requires love, trust, and a willing attitude, even when there’s a conflict with personal desires.

Do I love my God enough to trust Him with a willing attitude—to take the wheel?Oftentimes, no.

I get tempted into thinking: if only I had the time to take the vacations I want and travel where I want, then I’d be happy. If only the people who hurt me apologized, then I’d be happy. If only I had a different job or a different boss, then I’d be happy. If I had that new outfit, that cute boyfriend, that better body—then I’d finally be happy.

But I don’t. So I labor and toil and spin to get the things my heart tells me I need. It tells me not to trust God or rest in Him. It tells me to take action into my own hands and hustle for that next promotion. It tells me I can hold a grudge against those who have hurt me instead of forgiving.

Submitting to God is not easy.

If I’m being honest, it goes against every part of my being.

So how do I do this? How do I submit?

1. Recognize the lie. I won’t be happier hustling for that promotion. I’ll be more tired, more frustrated, and then more tired and more overwhelmed once I get it. I won’t be more at peace holding a grudge. I’ll be more at peace if I forgive.

2. Remember the times God pulled through for you. When He asked you for your submission—and you did—the positive result it produced. I remember when God asked me to submit to Him by giving my old wedding dress away. It was the last thing I was clinging to from my ended relationship. I desperately didn’t want to let it go. And yet, I trusted God enough to believe that in giving it away, He would fill my empty hands with something better.

3. Know who God is. Sometimes we not only forget who God is, but we don’t have a great understanding of who He is to begin with. It’s so easy to have misconceptions about God. There are so many opinions, misinformation, and bad experiences that have twisted and distorted who He truly is.

If you want to know God—read His Word. Get in His presence. Spend some real time with Him, and He will reveal Himself to you. It’s hard to trust—and therefore submit to—someone you don’t know.

Though I don’t do all three of these things perfectly, I’m making a conscious effort to keep them front and center in my mind and in my heart.

I don’t want people to look at me and just think, “That’s the girl who follows the rules.”I want them to see, “That’s the girl who submits to Christ gladly and voluntarily.”

I want my joy to be a marker of my faith.

How about you? How will you seek submission in your life?