Choosing to Run Toward the Life I Have

2020: my year of denial. I denied that I lost my job. I denied how hard it would be to get a new one, make new friends, or move out of my parents’ house. I denied how difficult it would be to build community, find fulfillment, or create a sense of purpose. I thought I could grind through it all, pushing forward until I achieved whatever I was after. Isn’t that what they say in all the leadership books? When the going gets tough, the tough get going. You just have to persevere. Winners don’t make excuses, they make moves. And those had been my mottos. My. Whole. Life.

I prided myself on being the person in the trenches—the one who never backed down from a challenge. The one who kept going when everyone else quit or went home. But 2020 broke me over and over again. Like a wild horse beaten into submission. And now, in 2021, I see it clearly: when you're down 2-0 at halftime, it's time for a pivot. A change in strategy. A new game plan. The best teams and players know when to evaluate the playing field, read the room, and adjust. Those who don't? They don’t survive. They don’t win.

So, in 2021, I’m committed to ditching my pride. Instead of chasing the "dream life" I had in mind or running from my present circumstances, I’m choosing to invest in the life I have right now. In the family and friends I have today. In my community. In my relationship with God. In my body, soul, and spirit, as they are today. If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that we are not guaranteed tomorrow—or even the life we had yesterday. I thought I could outrun 2020. In 2021, I choose to run towards this year, head on, full throttle.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." – Hebrews 12:1